The press was full of celebrity break-ups in March. Pamela Anderson’s marriage in January lasts just 12 days. The singer Rihanna and Saudi Arabian billionaire Hassan Jameel split up after three years. Channing Tatum and Jessie J separate just three months after reconciling from a previous breakup. In China, large numbers of couples across the country filed for divorce after spending weeks at home together in lockdown.
Maybe not all splitting up is due to the lockdown but are we sometimes too quick to call it a day?
Thinking of leaving your other half?
Prepare your Hotlifestyle before you cut the knot
The lockdown is nearly over and the bitter aftertaste of incessant arguments with your partner still linger. You’re not listened to or given any respect and feel you’re just taken for granted. It’s the same routine, every time you spend considerable time together and, you have decided something has to change. A harmonious relationship with your partner is certainly part of living a Hotlifestyle but have you grown apart?
People change. Experiences, expectations and relationships will all have an influence on our personal development. The teenager you dated at school will not be the same person 10 years later. We all grow and mature and change our point of view. If you have grown apart, it is most likely that you have stopped listening to one another. A significant part of the communication process especially with a loved one is the ability to pay full attention to their emotions, body language and facial expressions while talking to one another. If you have both stopped listening to one another maybe you should set an example and sit down for a real heart to heart about how you both feel towards your relationship before you make the final decision.
Should I stay, or should I go now? The dramatics of slamming the door behind you with suit case in hand might leave a lasting impression on your ex-to-be. But half way down the street it will dawn on you as you come to the realisation; “whose couch will I be sleeping on tonight?” Leaving in pursuit of your Hotlifestyle needs preparation. The most important item besides finding a place to live will be getting ready for single life again. If the relationship has become intolerable or your other half is violent or abusive then leaving sooner than later should be your priority.
Any change of this nature can be a daunting prospect though. Take time out to re-evaluate some aspects of your life and get it back on track. Do you want to push your career, get a diploma or re-enter the dating scene? Give some serious thought about what you want and devise a plan and budget. Set yourself realistic goals including a timeline by which you want to achieve certain things. Whatever you decide to do here are some essential basics for you to consider before making your move.
Start feeling good again. It’s that time of the year when all of us are thinking how we can lose those extra pounds gained during the Christmas holidays. It’s not just about eating less but about eating right. We have created a list of foods that make it easy to start eating healthy again. Print out your free copy of the Hotlifestyle Healthy Shopping List. Here you will find a list of foods that when included as part of your normal diet will help boost your overall vitality.
If you’re not already exercising, then start. Begin at a pace that is suitable for your level of fitness. It can be as simple as using the stairs more often or walking more briskly than usual.
Start looking good again. When you’re settled in a permanent relationship it can happen that you let your appearance go a little. Is your wardrobe letting you down? The sales are on, so get out and try something new. A day out shopping with your best friend even if you don’t buy much can be very motivating and may give you ideas how to mix and match items you already have. New clothes can do wonders for boosting your confidence.
Start building confidence again. Confidence is the ability to step out of your comfort zone and face the fears that absolutely everyone has. One small step each day is all it takes. Believe in yourself and others will believe in you.
Start living again. Before you take the step to leave, go out with your friends more without your partner. Good personal relationships can be a buffer against the damaging effects of many setbacks. After you separate, some of your friends may be divided as to where their loyalties lie. Go out to simply enjoy yourself, dress up, and have a laugh. A break from your partner might just put your feelings about your situation in perspective. If you have a close friend, you can confide in you might consider telling them about your plans and see what they think. Don’t go it alone.
Any change in your life should start with you rising up to the challenge becoming a better person. If you feel you have simply grown apart consider the energy and money that you will spend leaving might be better invested to see if there is a chance of reconciliation. All relationships need constant work on them.
If you’re truly miserable and determined to move on and get divorced it’s always better to part without animosity especially when children are involved. Staying friends and working out an amicable settlement could see considerable cost savings on solicitors bills alone. No matter how much you are hurt, revenge will only cost you. It is reckoned that it takes most people about 2 years to get over a marriage. I would suggest investing your energy on your long-term relationship and see what happens. The result might create a happier outcome.
Paul McQueen is an acclaimed entrepreneur, speaker and author of the book, Hotlifestyle - Essential Basics, published by Graystone LA. The book is ideal for anyone considering making a fresh start in life.
